Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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