im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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