So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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