if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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