when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
