Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.

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(757): View more from Virginia

We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.

Fav 15 5983 1369
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(908): View more from New Jersey

my sombrero is too big for the bathroom

Fav 25 9768 1509
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(201): View more from New Jersey

just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.

Fav 16 5128 1928
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(503): View more from Oregon

Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped

Fav 5 2896 1107
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(585): View more from New York

Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew

Fav 8 4079 1199
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(620): View more from Kansas

I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.

Fav 4 1469 908
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(309): View more from Illinois

Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.

Fav 0 493 378
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(360): View more from Washington

when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants

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