SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
