but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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