omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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