Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
