Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
