I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
