I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
