My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
