Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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