I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
