haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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