Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
