can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
