I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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