i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
