So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
