I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
