Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
