Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
