He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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