Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
