Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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