Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
