come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
