i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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