hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
