your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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