I accidentally had phone sex last night
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
