she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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