pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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