I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
