ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
