They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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