there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
