so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
