shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
