So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
