whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
