how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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