Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
