office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
