I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
tell me about the fingering
Randomize