Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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