yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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