he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
