Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
