in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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