Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
