I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
