what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
