Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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