forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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