since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
