I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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