you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize