he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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